Review - G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Back in 2009, Paramount Pictures released G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, a film so bad that I considered it an insult to both the eyes and ears. I did not pay to see this film at the cinema but due to the fact that a substantial amount of people did, a sequel was always going to happen. 

Now in 2013, the sequel has arrived and it goes by the title G.I. Joe: Retaliation. As a film based on a toy-line, the plot for this film was as basic as they come. Good guys framed as bad guys by the bad guys who have one goal, to destroy the world. 

From the trailers I had seen I thought it looked a lot better than its predecessor. However, by the time the end credits started rolling, I could only just about bring myself to say that it was slightly better than the first film. 

There were a few things that made me think Retaliation would be better. Firstly, the action looked far less goofy as it did in Rise of Cobra and secondly, Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson had been added to the cast.

If you have seen Rise of Cobra you will know what I mean when I say goofy action. If you have not then I urge you to watch it and look out for the particular action set-piece where chaos is brought to Paris. Men in mechanically enhanced suits tear through Paris at breakneck speeds which, ultimately leads to the Eiffel Tower being destroyed. It was hard not to laugh at how ridiculous it did actually look.

Fortunately the action in Retaliation was a saving grace. It was mostly kept simple and never looked utterly ridiculous. The most complex the action got was a scene that featured a face-off between ninjas who were hanging from the side of a mountain. Though this sounds ridiculous it was visually impressive nonetheless.

Where Retaliation saves itself with the action, the script and acting leaves a lot to be desired.     Dwayne Johnson is a favourite of mine after watching him in the WWE but there is only so much he can do with the script provided. His character is given 'jokes' to say that no one in the audience found funny at all. Strange choice to give his character so many lame jokes as he seemed like he genuinely tried to make his role as serious as possible.

Out of all the actors in this film there is one in particular who should hang his head in shame. Bruce Willis is the guilty party. He turns up as General Joe Colton in a scene that would make anyone think he is the least welcoming human on the planet. What seemed even more annoying was the fact that his performance in Retaliation was identical to the one he gave in A Good Day to Die Hard, bored and half-asleep whenever on screen.

No one at all in this film is helped by the script as it is that bad but there was one moment I can honestly say made me put my head in my hands, shake my head and question how it managed to get into the final cut. All I will tell you is that it involves nuclear warheads and North Korea, I will leave you to imagine what was said in the film.

I would not recommend going to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation at the cinema but if you ever come across it on DVD or on the television do give it a watch as I found the action, if anything, entertaining enough to make this not a complete failure.

Verdict: 2/5